can not do this alone
your artwork is very generic, but as a contradiction to that, has some interesting sides to it. The manga style, lose it and be creative, however, the general tone that the artwork gave was very well done due to some clever shading, but i cant quite put my finger on it.
However, the animation was terribad. You can draw bearable art, and your storyline is fairly above average (not that that means anything tho) but your way of putting it together is bad. And the song didn't stop at the end of the animation; the programing was lacking.
as for the sound, the song was indeed all that was required here. There was obv no need for Sound effects or speech. However i do believe that the climax of the song could be timed better, but that might just be me.
All in all, you, like most people, have potential, but you must know that you are not an animator if u can draw. Do everything in FBF or find another person to help you animate.